Assalaamu Alaykum Dearest Sisters,
Sister, I hope to get an opportunity to meet you. You can join our Sisters Only Facebook group. Just come on over. I’m a revert to Islam, a 5th year aalima student and a previous Family Counselor from the United States.
I would like to extend my heart to each reader and share with you that we are all of us are on the same path in sha Allah, but each is at her own special place on that path. This support group and article’s focus are to help us to alter our paths and get what we want. To do that, we’ll need to consider the path we’re on right now.
Speaking of paths, I remember back in High School (I think or Middle School?) we had to memorize a poem. I memorized Robert Frost’s poem called, “The Road Not Taken.” I think that this was probably one of the most profound poems that I read in school. I never liked the Shakespeare or Edgar Allen Poe literature. But here it is, the poem that didn’t change my life, rather the poem that reflects how my life has gone and the way I want my life to keep going.
The Road Not Taken
The Path I Altered
I look back now and just thank Allah swt for the roads that I’ve taken. Imagine the life I had as a Non Muslim, and how dramatically that choice, that road to Islam has completely altered my life. Merely taking shahadah wasn’t the only changing factor, but the actions that should come along with that oath of belief start shaping up an entirely differently life.
These choices have lead me to the most beautiful places and I hope in sha Allah to keep traveling down this way and into qurb of Allah swt. But, til then, you and I are here and still traveling.
A lot of sisters actually tell me they don’t want a religious life, that it’s too stuffy for them, or they just want to live a life of freedom and be happy. This is the same thought I have every time I try harder to become a better Muslim. My life as a non Muslim is a witness that living a life according to some other code of life brings hardships in this world and the Hereafter. I know because I lived that life and due to being on the wrong path it was a nightmare.
I hope in sha Allah before some go too far away from things that are good, she can realize that life is too precious to waste and regret. Going off the path of this deen will only get us lost, very lost and sometimes there is no way to get back on the path. I know there are some secular hard pressed women out there who have been so hard hearted that they can’t see the difference between right and wrong and think that their way is right.
If you’re here wondering what’s wrong with your life,
my heart completely extends a sweet word of invitation to look towards things which are right.
Allah swt is the One who is right.
The Path You Will Alter
If you’re here at this article, then perhaps you’re at a place in your life where you want to change your path, maybe you want to take the ‘better’ route. You want to alter your course in some way to get through the thick of the struggles, and bring blessings and peace in your life. Maybe your needs aren’t being met or your life is blah. We all want to have a special life, and we want to feel like it’s special. Sister, I want you to know that you are special, and Allah swt has created you special. What’s greater than that is that we each have the ability to make it even more beautiful and unique. We have the ability to live our lives with meaning, according to what we assign “Within” a proper and very wide scope of way. We don’t have to try to fit out in order to fit in. Our path isn’t really that narrow but our own creativity is quite limited. So maybe we can open that up a little bit.
How Do We Know What to Alter?
Sometimes we’re there going down a path and looking at it, and we’re not really sure what will come ahead. If our path isn’t so great right now, how do we know up ahead it won’t be? Yes, this is the very tricky part. How do we know if we need to alter our path? How do we know if we need to stay the distance?
I view “the path” as in the giant flow that we’re traveling on as the foundation of our life. I view that in terms of deen. As long as we’re ‘on’ the path of our beautiful deen then in sha Allah we’re on the right path. So my dear sisters might be wondering…so how shall we alter that?
So.. what it means is – we want to alter the experience of this path. We want to alter how we feel as we travel on this path. We want to alter the quality of the travel while on this path – which will be by the decisions that we make along the way and the way we chose to live our lives. At the end of our journey, we want to be able to say, “I had a good travel.” So what that’ll really mean is that, “I lead a good life.” Because why? One day, we’ll be in front of Allah swt and we’ll be answering questions about how we spent the time in passing our life – which is this journey sisters.
The cool and amazing part of this journey is that all along the way we’ll come to forks. We’ll have to decide which one we’re going to take. So, each fork we come to is akin to us decided the smoothness or roughness of our journey – which we call quality. Making good decisions will lead us to better quality of our journey. We might not that enthusiastic about taking that path at the time, but experience will prove it was better.
Most of us are not good navigators and to that is relief to know that we don’t have to depend on ourselves. If we are sincere with Allah swt and this deen, Allah swt will be our Guide. On our own, we really lack the insight necessary to fully predict life. We try our best with the limited knowledge and brain power we have, but this is where the issue lies. This “aql” is too limited that we can’t do this well, but yet we still think we do and we still live life like we do and also as if everything is ok. But sisters, things are not ok, and there is a better way, but we have to let go of our own ego that tells us we know better. This is the biggest struggle most people have.
The decisions we make ourselves using our own aql and not Allah’s guidance are the very decisions that lead us into a spin cycle that’s spinning out of control. That’s why we are here now – trying to figure out how to make it stop.
We Must Make It Stop
To make it stop dear sisters, I ask you to please join us in the Facebook group to discuss life, decisions, or anything else relevant. In sha Allah, we’ll be helpers for one another. This humble one offers a decision making model training as well as some lift up talks to try to help us along. When I was a Family Counselor, I dealt with families whose lives were spinning like a tornado, and it was damaging everything and everyone in that path.
Click the link below to join our group and please we do ask for interaction: