Assalaamu Alaykum Dearest Beloved Sisters,
Hope and make dua all are well. It’s midnight right now, and I was feeling hungry. I put the family to sleep a while ago and I was just like, I want to eat something. So what was the first thing that popped into my mind? Liver. I know… Lordy Lordy do I know. Anyway, I figured it must be a sign that I’m deprived of iron. Please say yes that’s what it is. I mean WHO craves liver? Not me. I ate it on Eid day a few weeks ago and before that about 25 years ago at least. I actually can’t remember. So I got up and cooked some. So you’re like how come you had liver in your fridge… (I craved it while I was in the grocery store) I KNOW the story gets worse. Who looks at liver and says yum? Allahu Akbar Kabeera. I guess that’s me. I don’t know what’s happening folks.
So there I was cooking some liver a few minutes ago, and I was just imagining the scene that if my husband were to pop in to see what I’m doing. He’d be seeing if I was cheating on my diet, yes, the one I’m always on. So I was cooking and laughing.. I told you it just keeps getting worse. So I assume this is what happens when you don’t watch tv or things like that.. you just invent your own movies and scenes in your head…like prisoners do to cope with being locked up. Oooh.. Did I just compare myself to a prisoner? Like I said, Allahu Akbar Kabeera. I guess that’s me. I don’t know what’s happening.
All jokes aside, I got an inkling to write about desires. Desires and liver in the same post. Seriously. There are so many ways I can go with this. But…folks the way we’re going today is that sometimes we are going about our day, our life, and suddenly something catches our eye and convinces us to go after it. That was really hard for me to write with a straight face, but it’s true. This is how strange life is.
One day we’re going about our lives and completely unexpectedly something catches our eye, even something uncharacteristic of us; something just reels us in.
I read a verse the other day that said
قَالَ رَبِّ بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي لَأُزَيِّنَنَّ لَهُمْ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَأُغْوِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْمَعِينَ
Quran 15:39- (Satan) said to Allah: “I shall indeed adorn the path of error for them (mankind) on the earth, and I shall mislead them all.”
For whatever reason, I thought of this verse, not that this is what happened in my case of the liver but it just came into my heart. Sometimes people sin and sin to the point that they don’t even realize they are sinning, to the point that their sins look right. They won’t call them sins at all, rather “the right things to do” and then go further and justify.
But this is what happens, we’re going on in our lives and suddenly whatever wasn’t so attractive before catches our eye, whatever we never noticed before due to our taqwa (Allah fearing trait) or maybe a protection that Allah swt gave us that we never even noticed that thing before. But one day, we did.
Then this is where the cycle starts. We make a mistake, and don’t do proper taubah. We make that mistake again and again..until we justify it, until Shaytan beautifies it..and that’s who we become – a bunch of liver eating folks, cooking it up at midnight while their family sleeps unbeknownst to them.
This is why it’s so important for us to stay connected to Allah swt, all of the time, no matter where we are. It’s really important that we don’t let our guard down for a single second because it just takes that second, that split second.
Alright dear sisters, so many things went wrong today. I write to decompress. I’m my own therapist and it’s clearly going great 🙂
Lots of love and many duas.